Unexpected Growth

Your penis is growing. You are also a Jedi. [[I... what?]] [[How are my penis growing and being a Jedi related?!]] [[Growing, like... I see someone hot?]] [[But I don't even have a penis!]] (set: $wearingSkirt to false) (set: $wearingUnderwear to true)

You heard me. (display: "Start")

Nope. Growing. As in longer. The girth isn't really increasing, which is good, because that would be awkward. [[Oh gosh, yeah, that would be awful!]] [[Oh, like having my penis just start growing longer isn't awkward?!]]

You do now. Sorry. [[No, actually, I'm okay with that.]] [[Growing, like... I see someone hot?]]

Right? (display: "Clothing")

Do you //really// want it growing in both directions? I thought not. (display: "Clothing")

They aren't.[*]<footnote| (display: "Start") (click-replace: ?footnote)[ //(Crowbeak committed herself to making her LD34 game related to Star Wars, so when she had this idea for a silly game about a growing penis that she could cram in around mentoring her friend through his first LD on a busy weekend, she decided that you are also a Jedi. ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ Let the craziness commence! Viva Ludum Dare!)//]

By the way, are you wearing underwear? [[Yeah. Starting to regret that, aren't I?]] [[Pfft. No.]]

Oh, good! I'm glad. [[Growing, like... I see someone hot?]]

You sure are! The head of your penis is expanding towards your butt hole as it grows. It's getting pretty close to your butt hole, actually. [[I'll take the underwear off, then.]] [[I don't wanna be without underwear. I'll live with it for now.]]

Oho! You're a free spirit, I see. (set: $wearingUnderwear to false) (display: "I'll take the underwear off, then.")

Okay. Are you wearing pants? [[Yes, I'm wearing pants.]] [[PANTS ARE TYRANNY]] [[No, I'm wearing a skirt.]]

Are you //(either: "sure?", "positive?", "really gonna go through with this?")// [[Yes, I am.->I don't wanna be without underwear. I'll live with it for now.]] [[Ugh, fine, I'll take it off.]]

You'll have to take those off to get the underwear off, then, eh? [[Indeed. I take off my pants and underwear.]] [[I don' wanna!]]

(if: $wearingUnderwear)[And yet you wear underwear? You are a strange bird. Okay, well, you remove the uderwear easily.](else: )[Well, then, you are not uncomfortable in the least. Well, except that it's a little bit chilly.] [[Okay... now what?]]

Your underwear comes off easily. Hooray! [[Okay... now what?]] (set: $wearingSkirt to true)

That's a good question! I don't have an answer for you. [[What?!]]

That's the spirit! [[Okay... now what?]]

You can feel your penis grow //even closer// to your butt hole. It's hard not to be aware of this fact because your pants are doing their part to help confine your expanding member. [[Fine, fine... tyrant.]]

Sorry, friend. It had to be done. [[Okay... now what?]]

I knew you'd come around! (display: "I'll take the underwear off, then.")

Hey, I'm just a computer program! I don't have a penis, much less one growing at a steady rate. By the way, your penis is now about [10 inches]<tenin| long in its flaccid state. Anyway, you're the Jedi. Do something about it. [[I use the Force to stop my penis from growing!]] [[Why do I get the feeling that being a Jedi isn't gonna be of particular help with this problem?]] (click-replace: ?tenin)[25 cm]

... It kinda... curls up a bit? Like, it bends a little, but there's really no useful effect. It's definitely still growing. I don't know what possessed you to do that. [[Well, what good is being a Jedi, then?!]] [[I had to at least try it.]]

It's not directly relevant, but Jedi are awesome! I have faith in your ability to figure something out. [[Gee, thanks.]]

Maybe none? But Jedi are awesome and I'm sure you'll figure it out. [[Fine, //asshole//, I go look for the Jedi librarian.->JediLibrarian]]

Did you? Really? [[Oh, shut up. I'm going to go look for the Jedi librarian.->JediLibrarian]]

You're welcome! [[I guess I'll go to the Jedi librarian and see if she knows anything.->JediLibrarian]]

You find her polishing a holocron in a quiet corner of the library. Her back is to you. Your penis is about [13 inches]<length| long now. [[I say hello.]] [[...I can't do this.]] (click-replace: ?length)[33 cm]

You startled her.(if: $wearingSkirt)[ She jumps, turns, and asks how she can help you.](else: )[.. TWICE. She jumps, turns, and her eyes grow wide as her gaze falls to your now porn-legend-sized penis. She seems to be at a loss for words.] [[I have a problem. My penis is growing and I can't stop it.]]

Do you have any better ideas? [[See if it stops by itself?]] [[No. Fine. I say hello.->I say hello.]]

The librarian blinks. (if: $wearingSkirt)["Shouldn't you be talking to a doctor?" she asks. ](else: )[Then she gets mad. "If this is an attempt to get into my bed, I assure you that I am neither interested nor amused," she proclaims loudly. Someone sitting at a table nearby glances over. [[No! No, it's not. I really just need help!]] ] [[My penis is already several inches longer than it was earlier and I'm sure it's related to being a Jedi somehow.]]

I can tell you right now that's not going to happen. [[Crap. Fine. I say hello.->I say hello.]]

The librarian narrows her eyes. [[My penis is already several inches longer than it was earlier and I'm sure it's related to being a Jedi somehow.]]

(if: $wearingSkirt)["I see," she says. "Please wait here a moment." She walks off.](else: )[She doesn't look like she believes you, but she tells you to wait here a moment and walks off.] Your penis, by the way, seems to be growing faster now. It's about [17 inches]<length| long and getting uncomfortably heavy. [[I knew she would help me!]] [[I've got a bad feeling about this.]] (click-replace: ?length)[43 cm]

While waiting, maybe you should do something about the increasing weight of your growing penis. It really is getting a bit worrisome. [[I sit down.]] [[I hold my penis gently in both hands.]]

Do you have a bad feeling about the librarian, or about the uncomfortable crotch weight? 'Cause it's getting //really// heavy. You should do something about that. [[I sit down.]] [[I hold my penis gently in both hands.]]

That turns out to be even more uncomfortable. Your penis's increased weight is putting a lot of pressure on the point where the shaft meets the edge of the chair. (display: "End")

A young padawan comes around the corner and sees you standing there holding your massive, noodley penis.(if: $wearingSkirt)[ The fact that it's poking out from under your bunched-up skirt causes them some confusion at first.] They drop their books and run off screaming. (display: "End")

The librarian comes back with security in tow. They clearly plan to take you away for disturbing the peace or something, but your penis has a massive growth spurt right in front of their eyes. Right before you pass out ('cause that feels really weird), you guesstimate that your penis is now about [22 inches]<length| long. You wake up in a hospital. You are afraid to look beneath the blanket. //The End// (click-replace: ?length)[55 cm]